The ChildMaker
by zfirze
Summary: “Grimm…it’s impossible. Males can’t get pregnant. It is physically impossible,” Ichigo said gently.


i felt stupid after completing this…haha…urahara seemed to be the everything-man to me, i wonder why…grimm is getting increasingly hard to write…sigh…

had this idea for a while but no motivation to write it…then i saw another author, can't rmb who, commenting abt the number of mpreg stories…so i guess that was a somewhat weird motivation…

no, its not mpreg…you'll understand after you finish…somewhat crack-ish and insane logic…

disclaimer: i don't own Bleach

* * *

**The Child-Maker**

* * *

Peaceful days, Ichigo decided, were the best. Especially during the hot summer days. Ahh, the wonders of vacation and just plain lazing around.

He glanced idly around his shared apartment. What should he do today? Finish washing all the laundry? Hmmm…sounds good. After all the pile of clothes were getting _way_ too high.

With a light contented half-smile, Ichigo went around the flat and gathered all the dirty clothes strewn everywhere into a neat pile. Busy college life had resulted in neither of them having the free time to do housework. Considering that he himself was studying accountancy and his boyfriend-slash-lover was in medical school.

Honestly, Grimmjow in medical school. Ichigo shook his head at the image. He would never get it, even after four years. It had taken a lot of prodding before Grimmjow had grudgingly gave in and told Ichigo that, contrary to popular belief, he was an exemplary student in his high school. Before he died, that was.

Yup, that was right. Before Grimmjow had died and became a Hollow and later an Arrancar, he was a straight A's student. Of course, Ichigo didn't believe a single word until Urahara dug up Grimmjow's school record from a few decades back. Even to this day, Ichigo was still convinced that all this was a ruse created by Urahara. He wouldn't put it past Urahara to somehow create a way to insert information into Grimmjow's mind and turned him into the smart-assed bastard he was now.

Grimmjow had been highly offended.

Still, Ichigo hummed to himself as he loaded the laundry into the washing machine, college life was good. Especially if he got to go to school with Grimmjow. He hadn't thought it would be possible six years ago, what with all the ruckus of Grimmjow being an Arrancar and Ichigo being a traitor.

Now, everything was resolved and Ichigo was allowed back into his normal life of being a student. Grimmjow had moved in with his family for awhile and when Ichigo had graduated from high school, the two of them had gotten an apartment in Tokyo away from Ichigo's interfering father. Of course it had taken both of them awhile to cope with cohabitation and had resulted in plenty of petty arguments between them. Learning to live together with someone else was hard, more so when the other was Grimmjow.

Leisurely as Ichigo waited for the clothes to be washed, he opened the fridge and peered inside. Dinner, dinner…hmmm…he sounded like a goddamn woman. Ichigo groaned into his hand. Doing laundry, cleaning up the house, cooking dinner while Grimmjow worked.

Note to self - force Grimmjow to do some housework.

Sighing, Ichigo pulled out some vegetables from the fridge and threw them into the sink, all the while grumbling loudly to himself. It was unfair. Finally when he had a free summer vacation without any college work holding him down, Grimmjow had to be busy. Any hope of them spending the summer vacation together was gone when Grimmjow had told Ichigo that he had to start his internship at a local hospital.

Ichigo still didn't see the need for Grimmjow to study so hard. Sure, him studying hard now would probably ensure that they had a stable life later on but to the extent of needing to do internship during holidays? Ichigo conveniently shoved the detail of the internship being compulsory to the back of his mind.

He grumbled again. Couldn't Grimmjow just be dependent on him? Instead of studying so that he could work next time, couldn't he just trust Ichigo to support him? At least this way they would get to spend more time together, never mind that Ichigo would call him a leech.

Still, maybe Ichigo ought to enjoy his peaceful afternoons as much as he could. Knowing Grimmjow, the nights were never peaceful.

* * *

Ichigo's peaceful afternoon was gone the very next Saturday.

Grimmjow was lounging on the sofa and wasn't bothering him as he checked his email. He had found it weird, that Grimmjow had been exceptionally quiet since he came back from the hospital last night. Ichigo frowned as he saw, from the corner of his eyes, Grimmjow fidgeting.

"Oi Ichi?"

"Hmmm?"

"C'mere for a second, will you?"

Ichigo's frowned deepened. Grimmjow sounded hesitant. Clicking to log out of his account, he turned the chair around to face Grimmjow.

"Here," Grimmjow patted the seat next to him.

Raising an eyebrow, Ichigo stepped over his chair and sat down on the sofa. Grimmjow sounded awfully formal about this. Ichigo wondered what was up with him.

"Y'know, I've been thinking…" Grimmjow fidgeted again, looking awkward, "I er…wantakidofmyown," He blurted out quickly.

"Huh?" Ichigo couldn't understand a single word, "Come again?"

Grimmjow cleared his throat and seemed to be forcing himself to remain calm as he repeated his words slowly, "I want a kid of my own,"

There was a long silence before Ichigo spoke, "Sorry, did I hear wrong? You want a kid?! I thought you called them brats?!"

There was a snort here and a low murmur, "They're still brats,"

Ichigo stopped talking and considered Grimmjow's request for a few minutes. _Why? All of a sudden…It's not like Grimm at all…_

Grimmjow bringing children around. The image seemed wrong, more like a kidnapping scene than anything else. But so did Grimmjow in medical school. Ichigo eyed Grimmjow carefully for a few moments. The past six years seemed to have changed him from a bloodthirsty Arrancar to a normal teenager with a mean or whiny streak at times. He summed it up to Grimmjow mixing with normal-albeit-a-little-stuffy college students. It was weird dealing with Grimmjow at times since Ichigo wasn't sure how to handle a bratty Grimmjow.

"Fine," Ichigo agreed.

"Really?" Grimmjow seemed to cheer up visibly.

"Yeah, we could go for adoption. But I'm not too sure if many orphanages would consider us, seeing that…." Ichigo's voice drifted off as he ran through the list of orphanages they had seen since coming to Tokyo.

"Uhm Ichi?" Grimmjow interrupted, "I meant I want a kid of my own,"

Ichigo's mind froze, "W-what?" Ichigo managed to choke out after a few seconds.

"A kid," Grimmjow repeated his words and took a tone of a mother explaining simple mathematics to her child, "Of my own,"

"You're out of your mind," Ichigo said forcefully, his voice rising with each word, "In case you haven't noticed, none of us has the right equipment!" He started getting hysterical, "No wait, you're using that as an excuse to break up, aren't you?!"

Grimmjow reached out his hand and smacked Ichigo hard on his head, "Of course not, you fuckhead. If I ever wanted to break up, I would definitely come up with a better reason than that sort of shitty one,"

_Ahh, he's cursing again…That's good I guess, in a weird Grimmjow way. _Ichigo continued after taking a deep breath to calm himself, "Then what is wrong with you?! You're studying to be a doctor so you should know more than anyone else that it is _impossible_ for males to get pregnant!"

"Yes well, I do know," Grimmjow looked slightly crestfallen, "It's just…" His voice trailed off forlornly.

Ichigo stared at him suspiciously, "Alright, spill. What happened to make you suddenly proclaim you want a kid which, I repeat, is impossible,"

"Y'know I've been assigned to do an internship at that hospital right?" Grimmjow started, pausing for Ichigo to nod before he carried on, "Well, yesterday the topic…subject was to do a delivery,"

"Delivery?" Ichigo looked at him blankly.

"Yeah, as in deliver a child. We, that as in the doctor and some other interns, spent nearly the whole day in the delivery room, encouraging the mother and injecting anesthesia into her," There was a wistful expression here, "Then finally, the baby came out. Crying and wailing loudly as it…he entered the world. It was amazing, the sight of childbirth," Grimmjow's expression seemed embarrassed when he turned to look back at Ichigo,"

There was another moment of silence as Ichigo processed what Grimmjow had just told him. So basically, the sight of baby being born had awed Grimmjow and kicked start his previously nonexistent fatherly instinct. _Amazing._

"Okay look, even if somehow, and I mean hypothetically speaking, we had a kid, it's not just about the kid being born," Ichigo tried to reason with Grimmjow, "We'll have to look after it, change his diapers, feed him and stuff. It won't be anything like a pet where we could throw it away when we got sick of it,"

"I know," Grimmjow seemed to look eager for some reason.

Ichigo sighed, he didn't really have the heart to break the news to Grimmjow but he guessed there was no choice, "Grimm…it's impossible. Males can't get pregnant. It is physically impossible," Ichigo said gently.

Grimmjow looked crushed.

"Unless Arrancars can get pregnant," Ichigo added in quickly, "Because humans, or Shinigamis for that matter, can't,"

"No, we can't either," Grimmjow shook his head before giving a defeated sigh, "Oh well, guess I was just being stupid,"

"Grimm…"

"Nah, it's okay. Hey er, you want to go out for dinner now?" Grimmjow attempted to change the topic.

"It's only three,"

"We could always walk around first,"

"Fine," Ichigo watched as Grimmjow walked casually enough to their room to grab a few things. _He looks disappointed._

* * *

Over the whole of next week, Ichigo could tell that Grimmjow hadn't gotten over not being able to have kids. He was moping around the house, pretending to be the usual rough guy he was but Ichigo could see right through him.

Actually, Ichigo could sympathise. He wanted to be a father as well. To experience and to see your kids grow up. But he was resigned to it being hopeless the moment he and Grimmjow had officially got together. Grimmjow, however, didn't seemed to have realised that fact until a week ago.

He watched as Grimmjow pushed the broccoli around his plate before spearing and eating it. Grimmjow had become more silent lately, his silence occasionally punctuated with loud and very forced outbursts. His mind wasn't paying attention to anything and as proof, Ichigo had almost caught him attempting to throw their porcelain plates into the trash once. Grimmjow had snarled something strange and unintelligible before stalking off.

Seriously, did he want a kid so badly? Ichigo tried broaching the subject again with Grimmjow, suggesting that they _could_ get a surrogate mother to carry Grimmjow's child. Grimmjow had immediately shot it down, saying that he wanted the child to be _theirs_, before promptly changing the subject.

He watched as Grimmjow stumbled into the bathroom. Was there anything that he could do for Grimmjow? He eyed the phone lying innocently a few feet from him. _Maybe, just maybe…_

Reaching out and dialing a familiar number, he waited for the other side to pick up, "Yo, Jinta? Ichigo's here, can you put Urahara on the line?"

* * *

"Oi Ichi, you're acting weird, y'know,"

"Hmmm?"

"All of a sudden, you said you wanted to go back home to Karakura to visit,"

"Is that so?" Ichigo asked distractedly as he packed some clothes into his duffel bag.

"Yes," Grimmjow insisted, "Usually you'll only visit your freakingly crazy family on holidays,"

"It is a holiday now," Ichigo pointed out.

Grimmjow rolled his eyes, "Not this kind, fucktard,"

"So what," Ichigo shrugged, "I just felt like visiting them. C'mon, let's go,"

They stepped out of their apartment and hailed a taxi. Karakura Town was a few hours drive and Grimmjow had fallen asleep on Ichigo right away. Ichigo smiled softly as he pushed a few strands of teal hair to the side, Grimmjow must be worn out from all the work at the hospital.

A few hours later, Ichigo shook Grimmjow's shoulder, "Grimm? We're here, wake up,"

Grimmjow groaned and pulled himself upright. They paid the taxi a rather hefty sum as Grimmjow grumbled loudly about the atrocity of the charges in the Real World. Standing nervously in front of their old house, Ichigo hesitantly pushed open their front door and ducked immediately.

His father's feet met with Grimmjow's hand and there was a loud crashing sound as Grimmjow threw him back into the living room.

"Ichi-nii! Grimm-nii!" Yuzu greeted them cheerfully, sidestepping their father with practiced ease.

* * *

"What, in seven hells, are we doing here?" Grimmjow eyed the shop in front of him with mistrust.

Of course, the mistrust was well placed. Urahara Shoten was definitely no ordinary trustworthy store. After several incidents and run-ins with the manager, Grimmjow had developed a strong dislike for the place and its residents.

"Kurosaki-san! Grimmjow-san! So nice to see you!" Urahara stood in front of them, waving his fan cheerily.

Ichigo held up a hand in acknowledgement and followed Urahara into his store. Grimmjow stepped in as well, eyes narrowed in suspicion at the neatness inside, as if he was half-expecting things to suddenly pop up from under the floorboard.

"Have a seat, have a seat!" Urahara had led them to the living room and Tessai served tea to them after they gathered around the table in the centre.

"So then, is it ready?" Ichigo got to the point right away.

"Of course, after all Kurosaki-san is my best customer," Urahara raised his hand to his mouth and hollered, "Jinta! Ururu! Bring _that_ over here!"

Grimmjow's guard rose and he panicked a little. _That? What is that?_ _And why does Ichi seemed to know what is going on?_

A few seconds later, there was a loud pattering of feet and raised voice as the door to the room slide open. Ururu placed a large blue machine in front of them as Urahara moved the table to a side. Jinta stood behind Ururu, talking in a very loud and obnoxious tone and doing nothing else.

"What the hell is this? A vacuuming machine?" Grimmjow blurted out once Jinta and Ururu left the room.

"No no. Allow me to introduce my latest creation. The Child-Maker," Urahara proclaimed with a flourish, "Version II,"

"What the fuck? Your latest creation is a Version II?!" Grimmjow said before the name of the machine sank in, "Wait, what?"

"This baby here can help fulfill your life dream, Grimmjow-san!" Urahara appeared excited, "Just throw both your semen and reiatsu in, and boom! A foetus is created!" He paused here, as though waiting for Grimmjow's loud proclamation of approval.

"What?" Grimmjow couldn't really believe his ears.

"Oi Urahara, mind giving us a minute?" Ichigo motioned for Urahara to leave the room.

"Sure, you loving couples could take all the time you want! But make sure not to get any semen onto my floor! It's rather hard and bothersome to wash out!" Urahara closed the door in time to avoid Ichigo's empty cup hitting him.

Grimmjow stared mutely at the machine. _Could it really be?_ He turned to Ichigo.

"Well, you seemed so upset at not being able to have a child so I asked Urahara if there was any way that it could be possible for…you know, two males to have a kid," Ichigo explained as he scratched the back of his head nervously, unsure if Grimmjow was pleased with the turnout.

Grimmjow reached out his hands and Ichigo backed away, thinking that Grimmjow was going to punch him. What he didn't expect was for Grimmjow to wrap his arms around his shoulders and pull him into a hug.

Ichigo blinked, "Grimm?" He reached out a finger to touch Grimmjow's arm tentatively.

"Thank you," There was a soft whisper next to Ichigo's ears.

Ichigo smiled a little as he returned the embrace.

* * *

"Urahara's fucking shit of a manual needs plenty of work!" Grimmjow tossed the battered book onto the floor, "Why the hell is it handwritten?! It's practically illegible, doesn't he know that there are such things called computers and printers?!"

They were back in their Tokyo apartment. The large blue machine which they had hauled back from Urahara was lying in the middle of their room after much disagreement on where to place it. Grimmjow had attempted reading the machine's manual on the way back and was now cursing Urahara into oblivion due to the massive headache it had caused.

Ichigo picked up the book and read the first page, "Seems easy, we just have to ejaculate into it and pump reiatsu into it. Is there anything else we have to pay attention to?"

"Don't think so," Grimmjow winced as he shook his head.

"Shall we then?" Ichigo asked, "Or should we wait a few more months before we try it out?"

Grimmjow stood there and thought for a moment, "Nah, now should be fine. By the time the baby comes out, we'll probably have graduated already,"

"Alright," Ichigo glanced at Grimmjow, "Y'know, this method won't allow you to deliver the baby just like what you did to those mothers in the hospital," Ichigo gently pointed out.

"It's fine, as long as I'm the one who takes it out of the machine after it's born," His hands reached for Ichigo's pants, "Shall we then?" He smirked lewdly.

Ichigo slapped the wandering hands away, "Stop it you perv. It said we are to ejaculate into it. Knowing you, if we have sex, you would definitely end up squirting your semen into me,"

"Fine," Grimmjow's voice sounded dejected as he reached out and took two small vials from the side of the machine, "Here, we're supposed to collect the semen into here," He handed one to Ichigo.

Ichigo took it and examined it, "And then?"

"After we collect the semen, we are to place it back into the two holes and the machine will randomly select a sperm from each of us. Following that, it would extract the DNA encrypted and - " Grimmjow stopped when Ichigo held up a hand, "What's wrong?"

"Grimm, please, just the things we have to do. Not what would happen in the machine,"

"Ah, right. First step, jack off,"

Ichigo rolled his eyes and turned towards the bathroom.

"Where're you going?"

"The toilet, dumbass,"

"You're such a woman, Ichi. Just do it here, I mean, I've already seen everything," There was a lewd grin here.

Ichigo gave him the finger as he stepped into the bathroom.

* * *

The machine was amazing, Ichigo concluded. It had been a month since they had put in their sperm, reiatsu and Ichigo's blood. From what Ichigo had gathered from Grimmjow's excited intellectual babble on the workings of the machine, he had summed them up into a few sentences.

Number one, machine would collect the genes coded onto the sperm. Number two, reiatsu powered the machine. Number three, Ichigo's blood would allow nutrition to reach the foetus. Number four, normal human food can be inserted and are swiftly burned up by the machine, allowing all the vitamins and such to flow into the baby's system through Ichigo's blood. Of course, this was the dumb down version that Grimmjow had provided.

Now, they just have to wait eight more months and in the meantime, stop Grimmjow from over-feeding the machine with food. And also, stop Grimmjow from peering at the monitor on the machine every other minute.

The gender of the baby wasn't out yet but Grimmjow already seemed to be preparing for its arrival. The other empty room in the apartment had been cleared out after moving the things in it to the store and throwing out some redundant things from the store. They had went to the bookstore and purchased a few books related to parenting, from naming the child to looking after it. Needless to say, they had gotten some weird looks. Grimmjow, being much busier than Ichigo, had forced Ichigo to do some market research on the diapers, milk powder and baby food available, double and triple checking the quality of the food as compared to its pricing. From then on, the employees at the supermarket which Ichigo had visited had taken to pointing and giggling behind him whenever he needed to get something from there. Ichigo was very embarrassed.

Still, it was worth it, Ichigo decided as he stared at the monitor on the machine. The monitor allowed them to view the progress of the foetus and currently, the foetus was still a lump of developing tissues. _Ours…_He smiled a little at their unborn child.

* * *

"Ichi! Is he out yet?! Am I late?!" Grimmjow shouted urgently as he rushed into their apartment.

"Not yet, there's still a few more hours, relax," Ichigo pointed to the countdown on the timer in the centre of the monitor.

A week ago, the images of their baby boy was replaced by a big timer counting down to his birth. Both of them had gotten so excited about it that they could barely concentrate on their graduating exam. Grimmjow had run to his professor's place that same night and asked for the specifications of the surgical scissors that was to be used. Confused, his professor gave him the scissors which he had just bought and had promised to do a check up on the baby when Grimmjow bring him to his clinic. His professor had just assumed that Grimmjow was being the mid-wife and was just delivering his neighbour's child soon. Grimmjow hadn't bothered to correct him.

"How was your exam?" Ichigo asked as they carried the necessary things to their room.

"I could scarcely concentrate," Grimmjow quickly added when he saw Ichigo's expression, "Relax, I managed to finish the fucking paper,"

"Grimm! Language! Remember what we discussed?!"

"Right right, no foul language in front of our child. Sorry, forgot," Grimmjow said somewhat sheepishly, "So, have you pick a name?"

"Not yet…I couldn't decide," Ichigo spread out a few towels on the makeshift mat that Grimmjow had taken from his professor.

"Hmmm," Grimmjow responded distractedly as he glanced at the timer again, "Eh, Ichi…is it me or is the timer running down extremely fast?"

Ichigo looked up and studied the timer, "Holy crap! He's going to be born earlier! In like, five minutes!" Ichigo did a hasty estimation.

"What?!" Grimmjow hurriedly ran out of the room to get a basin of warm water from the bathroom.

"Damn Urahara," Ichigo muttered angrily as he quickly moved some things out of the way, "I bet he purposely messed up the timer so as to 'create excitement', that idiot,"

"No cursing, Ichi," Grimmjow said teasingly as he carefully set down the basin.

"I wasn't," Ichigo made a face.

Taking a deep breath to calm themselves, they knelt in front of the machine and waited tensely for the timer to count down the last minute. A soft sound indicated that the baby was ready to be 'born'. With shaking hands, Ichigo gingerly opened the front of the machine, revealing their child tangled among the blood tubes leading to him. All the embryonic liquids surrounding him rushed out onto the floor, completely soaking the towels that Ichigo had lined up earlier.

Grimmjow reached out and carefully took him out of the machine. Almost immediately, their baby started crying, softly at first before increasing to a full-out bawl. Ichigo watched in amazement as Grimmjow smiled softly at him. Ichigo handed him the surgical scissors and with practiced ease, Grimmjow cut the baby's umbilical cord as he gently hug his son to his body.

Cautiously, Grimmjow dipped him into the warm bath and Ichigo washed him with a small cloth. Their child's cry softened and his eyes opened. Wide blue eyes stared back up at them.

"I think he'll look like you," Ichigo murmured quietly.

There was silence from Grimmjow. Ichigo chanced a glance at Grimmjow and saw the hard edge around his eyes disappeared by a fraction. Ichigo smiled a little.

"Ichi," Grimmjow said after a long while, "After another year or so, I want another kid,"

* * *


End file.
